Ending

That first breath I took after reading LV's email last year.

I just remember holding my breath as I read it, thoughts filling my brain, fleeting thoughts of nooooo this is it. It just can't be. I'm not ready. My friends! My family! My home. But wow, look. I'm not crying. I always thought I'd be hysterically crying...

All these brief thoughts floated through me. I stood up, walked 5 steps into the middle of my family room, and just looked at my daughters.

I couldn't breath. That breath was truly the most painful I've taken. It was physical, ripped at my heart pain.

This is my soul.

And oh, that breath. Everything lost in that breath. And then tears flooded, like I haven't cried before.

Tearing up now just remembering.

My daughters just looked at me, scared. I tried to reassure them through sobs, I uttered "Fest".....

And they knew. 🌿❤️🌿